Hari ni aku nak bercerita pasal infidelity or curang, dalam bahasa melayu. Sebelum aku tulis lagi panjang lebar, menagarut bagai, nak kena letak disclaimer, lest nanti ada orang macam melayu hengland datang sini dan dok buat lawak nak buat perut aku gegar2 ketawa… Whatever i wrote is based on my own experience not anyone else, so kalau kau tak setuju ke apa, you’re entitled to it, just jangan menyibuk, SEMAK komen kat blog aku… Ok??
Infidelity is a form of cruelty, unhappy partners inflict on their mates. It’s not only cruel but also cowardly because the person who is doing the cheating is not sincere enough to come clean that he is not happy. Often they will always, always blame their partner for their cheating ways… Bab tu memang aku tak paham… ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’, my wife tak pandai melayan i’, ‘my wife tak nak melayan nafsu batin i’, ‘my wife pemalas, tak nak basuh baju’…macam-macam. Why not diaorang admit jek, yang memang ko tu gatai kontol/cipap?? In my case, i never knew why he was unhappy with me. I tried my best to be the best of everything and it was still not enough, he still fool around and when he got caught red handed, my heart just breaks into thousand litlle pieces but still……. i persevered… i hang on. What a mistake that was…. bila hati kita dikecewakan, dan orang yang kecewakan tu pulak keeps doing the same thing over and over again, dia jadi keras macam batu dan bitter, pahit…macam peria… its hard for me to give myself to him, to trust and instead of talking about it and working towards saving the marriage, he packed his stuff and walk away…. literally. You know how difficult it is to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk to you? Someone who doesn’t want to listen but instead attack and blame you for everything? Bloody difficult… !
It took me years, YEARS to finally have the courage to say ENOUGH! I have had enough of being lonely, i have enough of crying myself to sleep, i have enough of doubting myself when the real problem lies with him! He is the one who doesn’t know what he wants…. So now, i am in the process of untangling myself and the process is not easy when he doesn’t want to let go, he delays for god knows what….? I never blame the girls that were involved with my soon to be ex… to me the real problem lies in our marriage and him…. Bertepuk sebelah tangan tak kan berbunyi…. Laki aku yang gatal, pompuan kalau lelaki pandai mengayat memang lah cair… So, i blame HIM! Having said all that though, i am still hopeful that someday i will find someone who can love and accepts me for who i am. Here’s hoping to a love filled future… (gelak sedih..) Of course la.. you have read whatever i wrote with a grain of salt, as this is from my point of view. I’m sure my soon to ex will have a completely different rendition of how the scenario unfolds AND there’s always the truth…
sighhh…. penat siot tulis post ni…seperti biasa, aku akan akhiri dengan tiba-tiba.. babai!!!