1)

Serunding kelapa ~ this particular one is made with finely blended dried achovies…

2)

Sambal Kacang atau omputeh mungkin panggey spicy peanut sauce. Minyak yang berlenang tu penting not just as aesthetic element ok? (ejaan memang tak betul, so jangan nak kepoh betul kan!)

3)

Sambal goreng julie style, aku nak cakap sambal goreng jawa authentic tak boleh sebab resipi, aku dah suka2 ubah mengikut hati aku, well, if you want to get technical masih boleh dipanggey sambal goreng jawa kerana aku yang masak dan AKU  ialah jawa…. hidup jawa! (tapi aku ngak ngerti ngomong jowo … sedey (  )

4) ……. eh, korang mesti dah boleh agak kan, aku masak apa…?

YES!!! Mak masak lontong uolls!! Aku adalah sangat keji, baru semalam makan lontong platinum (platinum sebab mahal bukan sebab special gilbabs punya sedap ok, lodeh dia cuma ada kobis and karot yang sebatu satu, sambal tumis je tak de sambal kacang. That is all.)  kat gerai k.noor tu, harga dia hentam sampai 4hengget. Padahal aku ‘CUMA’ letak 2 biji telur, gila tau pompuan tu, nak kaya. Malam tadi heret en. laki pergi pasar beli barang keperluan, modal dikeluarkan lebih kurang 40hengget tapi aku puas hati. Boleh makan sampai meletop perut and cukup semua bahan…. Agak nya kalau macam ni rupa lontong k.noor, berapa dia nak charge aku? RM7 kah?

Ochestra perut dah licin… orchestra mata pulak nak start…. hehe

What can i say but i LOVEEEE new moon, better than 2012 yang macam sekeping tahiitu… mak bagi 18 bintang!! Aku tak tau lah pasal twillight yang pertama sebab aku tak tengok and aku tak kan gila2 cari pun but new moon ni best lah! Jangan salah faham… mak tak taste pun dengan si pucat lesi edward tu, aku taste dekat jacob, si serigala jadian itu… ooo la la, body diaaaa….. rasa macam nak geget-geget…. oh my…  as for si bella tu pulak, aku rasa dia ialah seorang perempuan yang kusut dan sedikit gila sebab asyik attracted kat freaks je kan…

Masa beli tiket, i was afraid i would be bored out of my skull tapi aku telah sangat meng~underestimate movie ini. Set dia cantik, cerita dia tak membosan, taylor lautner’s body yang sangat menggegarkan perasaan (potong steam betul lah,  umuq dia baru 17 tahun..), except for some obscenely romantic scenes between edward dgn bella yang aku rasa macam nak muntah hijau tengok, aku ada lah tersangat teruja untuk the third sequel ~ Eclipse ~ sebab ending new moon macam haram….

tak caya korang gi lah tengok..

Serius noks, aku rasa cerita bohsia tu memang ala-ala authentic, cuma certain gesture and bahasa tu exagerate sikit tapi aku ada sedikit kecewa lah dengan ending dia yang agak tergantung, patut tunjuk lah apa kesudahan dari malam jahanam tu, kena hantar penjara ke, lepas tu bila keluar dah taubat nasoha, or tunjuk  lah budak yang kena belasah tu, mati ke cacat ke capek kaki tak boleh naik motor lagi, baru lah ada tauladan, minah bohsia tu pulak dah insaf jadi online businesswoman yang berjaya ke….baru lah best. Setakat tunjuk pergi steam ramai2, berpoya2 kat kelab malam, mana ada pengajaran? Makin dibaginya idea suruh buat jahat ada lah…

Anak pak yusuf haslam ke director nyer? Bagus lah budak tu, ada vision, kalau dia fine-tune kan lagi idea dia, memang menarik… ada can jadi milionaire macam bapak dia…(instead of just eksyen duit apak,duit sendiri kan lagi bangga.. hehe)

Sekian, ulasan movie yang aku tengok minggu ini…

Anyway, lepas tu kami pergi dinner kat Jaafar Steak House kat Larkin. Aku find out about this place pun from FB. Senior sekolah aku punya kedai, so sebab aku nak support orang melayu and in this case orang yang aku kenal, aku pun pi lah…tapi sangat mendukacita kan. Masakan dia memang sedap, aku rekomen kan kalamansi juice dia~sedap tapi sangat mahal lah pada aku. Laki aku makan nasi goreng kicap, portion kecik, nasi goreng tu tak de apa-apa perencah except for 2 ekor udang kecik. Aku ulang eh…DUA EKOR UDANG KECIK. Telur pun tak nampak sangat bayang nyer, no vegetables at all, tastewise memang sedap tapi for RM4.00 a plate i expect it to contain more than two measly looking shrimp! Aku order chicken chop, nasi goreng laki aku dah habis baru sampai (maybe sebab portion sikit, cepat habis kot? or sebab kami gelojoh makan?), boleh? Lepas tu aku noticed, ada dua orang customer yang duduk depan aku tu, baru sampai tak sampai 10 minit lamb chop dia sudah sampai, BOLEH?? Rupa nya, mereka member kepada perempuan yang help out kat western section tu (tokey ke tak, aku tak pasti). Aiseymen… macam mana meniaga macam ni, ada preferential treatment, member datang dapat cepat, customer marhaein macam aku ni, suka-suka lah nak kasi lambat? Portion sangat kecik, i think french fries tu ada lah dalam 15 batang, memang lah krinkle cut fries yang tebal but 15 BATANG JE? and the baked beans? adalah dalam 2 sudu besar, hirisan nipis tomato dengan sejemput mayonis diatasnya – harga RM12. Again pada aku, mahal sebab portion yang dia bagi tu kecik sangat. Tak kenyang aku makan.

Sorry to say lah laki aku dah menyumpah tempat tu and cakap kat aku dengan pandangan yang sangat menyakit kan hati, i tau lah tempat kenalan you but this is the first and the LAST time KITA makan kat sini. Lerrr… baru jek bercadang nak pergi lagi, mana tau next time it will be better and juga nak snappy happy gambar makan tu nak tunjuk kat sini, dah keluar fatwa plak.. hmmm… nak buat macam mana, kami pun nak kaya jugak… larikkksss….

Wayang pun dah start….. jeng,jeng, jeng… kitaorang pun tengok lah dengan teruja nyer…. kau tau cerita apa yang aku tengok………….??????

……………………………………………………..

PANDORUM!!!

Aku punya nak pecah dada tahan ketawa, yelah wayang dah start, tak kan nak buat bising  and mamat tu muka dah boring semacam kan…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….. lawak tul lah laki aku tu…. PAPADOM dengan PANDORUM.. sikit punya jauh beza… Dah tu ada hati nak marah kat budak kaunter tu sebab pekak tak dengar dia cakap papadom…. hehe.. aku cakap kat dia, nak marah pun tak guna sebab dia tak check betul-betul kan…

Nasib baik lah citer pandorum ni ok… for him lah… aku tak suka! Sangat mengerikan! Macam citer resident evil tu, ala-ala zombie makan orang… TAK SUKER! Malam semalam aku tak boleh tidor sebab aku asyik pikir plot citer ni yang aku rasa macam tak masuk akal and membayang kan makhluk yang jahat tu makan orang…. ISSHHH! Ngeri! Aku rasa lah kan kalau lah aku dicampak kan ke dalam situasi macam tu… mesti awal-awal cerita belum habis pun opening credit, aku dah mati! Ye lah, dah la gemuk, mana kuat nak lari and nak sembunyi pun tak muat.. abis lah aku kena makannn…..! Bertuah lah mahkluk jahat tu… daging aku mesti sure sedap punyer…! Kuang ajar punya mahkluk jahat!!!

Aku tak puas hati dengan other people that was in the theater actually. Entah apa suweyy aku, setiap kali tengok wayang mesti stuck beside a noisy couple. The ones next to mine did not stop talking loudly almost 90% of the time, it’s like they are the only ones there. Pada aku lah, kalau kau tak suka tengok movie melayu or you think it’s stupid ke hapa, then why the hell waste money to watch and ruined the experience for other people? Shut the fuck up because aku nak tengok bodoh! Bukan kau sorang yang bayar harga tiket tu. Tak suka? Apa lagi, jalan lah – balik! Jangan memekak kat telinga aku, aku nak tengok movie bukan dengar ulasan tak bertauliah dari kau! Ada sekor jantan kat belakang aku pulak, berbual kat handphone dia, keep on saying cerita ni tak sedap, tak sedap…..so fucking rude! Kalau nak berbual pun tak boleh ke lower your volume? Aku rasa maybe sebab tengok cerita melayu, so orang-orang melayu yang tengok ni rasa they have the right to talk thrash or do anything they damn please while it was screening kot? Bersatu teguh bercerai roboh, tak kisah lah kalau perangai memasing tu kurang ajar dan tak beradab. Memang macam ni ke perangai orang kita bila pergi menonton filem melayu di pawagam? I’m so sick of it!

Lagi satu, budak perempuan yang jaga kaunter bawah dekat Cathay City Square tu, really don’t have manners eh? The way she treats customer macam anjing, harap muka jek tebal dengan make-up tapi manners worse dari selipar jamban yang penuh daki. Tolong lah sister, busy macam mana pun, berdepan dengan customer still kena ada adab, ok? No wonder lah counter dia kosong tak de orang line up pun, rupa nya jin tanah yang jaga.  Yang pelik nyer, the staff at the upper level counter was very professional. They greet you, smile, asks you nicely, explain which seating are available, tak de hal pun.

Maybe family budak tu owns Cathay kot…….?

After lunch I dragged my mother to the AV0N shop to buy something. The shop was quite full and there was one group of Indian ladies, who I think came across the causeway. They were taking their sweet time looking through the catalogues and choosing things to buy. There were only 5 or 6 of them but the racket they were making is not unlike a pasar borong. One of the lady got a phone call then proceeded to yell for her daughter (?) to come over…aiyoyo kadawale…they were very happening in the store but the most interesting thing happened, when one of the ladies asked the avon saleslady what’s the difference between a “C” cup and a “D” cup bra…….. DUH…??? APAKAH?? Budak-budak sekarang pun tau cup C besar, cup D lagi lah gedabak. I know she wanted to know the size, why not just ask the girl to bring the damn coli cups out and compare, than asking like that? Kelakar siak! Macam tak pernah beli bra jek… adakah kerana baru advance from training bra walaupun sudah berumur lebih 40 tahun? Mak aku yang dah 60 tahun tu pun knows the difference between these bra cups lah, not something that a rocket scientist have to figure out! I even had an exbf who can tell a woman’s bra cup just by ogling her tits, achi ni seorang wanita ok, i mean she has tits like forever, tak kan tak tau…?  Lawak tahap gaban!!!

p/s. i don’t think she’d fill that ‘C’ cup, very ambitious our lady there….

edited to add later during the week :

I just came back from the movies. Transformer 2 – Revenge of the fallen. Serious punye best!!! I love the robots and the fights sequence… did i tell you? L.O.V.E. The storyline is cartoonish but then whatdyaexpect since it is adapted from a cartoon series….(rolls eye..) I love the robots, the human elements of this movie though….membosan kan. Everytime there’s a human scene it makes my eyes start to wander in the dark movie theatre. The lines are not funny, they’re sad pathetic attempt at being funny. Sorry but that’s how i feel. Even Megan Fox is not enough to make me want to watch, the human scenes (btw Megan Fox being compared to AngieJo is like comparing langit dengan bumi ok? anak fox tak bley berlakon lah wey… harap badan je lentik macam mentadak mentadu, she definately can’t act!)…. adakah… tengah syok2 ada battle between the robots and then tetiba ada romantic scene between mekeyla dengan budak sam tu… ick! geli siak… and why lah… megan fox, shia lebouf and perempuan yang berlakon jadi robo bitch dekat dorm tu, they have these orange tint to their skin… apakah?? is it the new trend??

My fantastic escape from reality would have been complete if only i had not sit next to the most annoying couple in the whole wide world. They talked non-stop, they eat non-stop (sitting next to them is like listening to a whole barnyard eating!), did i mentioned? they talk LOUD, they are really like budak-budak sekolah asrama penuh yang hanya dibenarkan keluar 2 minggu sekali and end up so jakun at the world around them. Macam C.I.B**. Aku tau lah kau bayar RM23.00 for your ticket and you are free to do what you want (within boundaries lah setan!) tapi aku pun bayar tiket yang sama harga dengan kau and i don’t want to know about your bloody cousin Rizal in London, who have seen the transformer a week before… BLOODY ANNOYING! At the risk of incurring the wrath of people reading this, nasib lah, i am being a racist here but i am kutuk’ing’ my own race so pergilah cium kentut aku… Kenapa ada Melayu yang aku jumpa kat dalam panggung kebanyakan nya macam tu? The time when aku pergi tengok ‘Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak’, i was seated next to a family yang ketawa at things that are not funny, benda bodoh ok… bomoh tu cakap auumhhh, oaaummnh… tu pun lawak ke..? I think i was the only one yang tak ketawa, sorry, the only two people yang tak ketawa (fiza pun tengok). Then the perbualan…MY GOD!!!!! kalau aku boleh mute kan suara diaorang i would ok.. sangat membosan kan. Is that how normal folks talk? Am i not normal because i don’t think like that?? Laki aku, anak bongsu and my parents will call me -  berlagak tak sedar diri, sendiri jawa - but ………………………….

ada aku kesah? muahahahahahha…ketawa guling-guling (sorry tak tau coding dia..)