So called chronicles of my life

i took this from http://subterfugemalaises.deviantart.com/art/Susuk-the-movie-teaser-poster-55099117

I take back what i said about saving your money to see SUSUK the movie. The movie sucks! Ok, since i have got that out of the way, this is the definition of susuk and a little synopsis of the movie which i take from here.

Introduction:
su·suk (n)
1. Form; shape; frame.
2. The forbidden practice of inserting and embedding foreign objects such as gold, silver, and diamonds under a person’s skin in order to increase the person’s allure. The wearer will have to respect a few taboos for this magical spell to work, failing which the consequences will be dire. There is also a dangerous variant called susuk keramat which most likely is no longer practiced today.

Synopsis:
Beauty has a price. Soraya is a young trainee nurse who is starting to feel disaffected by her life. A chance introduction to the world of glamour piques her earlier ambition to be a star. She does not succeed at first, but she is told that the forbidden practice of susuk can help. She has to make a choice whether to stay the way she is, or cross the line…. Meanwhile, Suzana is a prominent diva with an air of mystery. She has long been a practitioner of the black arts due to her use of the extreme susuk keramat. Every time she violates a taboo, a human life is required. We follow the eventful lives of these two women until we get to the true secret of this dreaded charm.

Susuk is not as scary as i thought it would be. The film opens with a night market (?) scene where an indian boy asks for coin to throw into the river, praying for the dead mother bla, bala, bla… when .. a skinless corpse of a woman suddenly shoots up from the river… jeng, jeng, jeng… ok i was shocked but when you looked closely at the corpse, it looked a lot like a burnt doll. -3 for scary factor. Then the story opens to a wheelchaired man in a hurry, at the background was this lady singing… when.. the door opens and you get to see Diana Rafar’s face… wooh!.. scary factor just shoot up to +10… I kid, i kid.. sheesh!

I can’t really coment on the stroyline because i am not an expert on susuk and shamans and bomohs but i can critisize the characters of the movie (and the actors who played them) and of course missing links that distracted me from watching the rest of the movie.

1. Like who the hell is Rozana? and why does she suddenly have this liking to Soraya when she has never even met her? I mean , if you dabbled in black magic, wouldn’t you keep it a secret? Because hello!! freak!! I honestly cannot see the relevance of this Rozana’s character, other than she’s the one who introduces Soraya to the susuk bomoh. Don’t even get me started on Aleeza Kassim, what the hell happen to her? Why does she look like a man in drag? So i get that she was a lesbian (in the film and maybe …out?) but what i don’t get, is what is the relevance to the story? Why show that scene where drag queen came out of the pool and shasyaying with her bony ass and subsequently taking off her bikini in front of Soraya? Are you telling me, that drag queen actually has the hots for putter face? ish!! So tak perlu okay!

2. What is the deal with Soraya’s boyfriend, Kamal? Hello, can’t you find someone alive to play that part? I know it would take a ‘strong man’ to be attracted to Diana Rafar but settling for a crash dummy is going too far! The guy who played Kamal was unimaginative, unresponsive, looked unintelligent, a stick can act better than that. Even my mother commented and i quote “kenapa mamat ni poyo sangat?” not once but all throughout the movie whenever the said crash dummy appears hence distrupting my ‘concerntration’. he.. Also, please lah.. he looked kinda gay ok? No offense to the gayelles out there..

3. Sofia Jane…. is ‘magnifique’. Even better than when she was in ‘Perempuan, Isteri and dot dot’ Man..! She’s gorgeus! She played that OTT bitch Mona perfectly. *sigh* So pretty…..I have a question though, why does she sound different in this movie? Did they use someone else’s voice, which i know they did for the singing part. Ok that was the funny, Rozana and Mona both talk with a raspy voice, in fact in the case of Rozana it was an octave lower, but when she sings, get this, Rozana is voiced by NORA! NORA! the sweet voiced Nora… tak kena sungguh. At least Sofia Jane can carry off Sheila Majid’s voice but Aleeza Kassim sounding like Nora? Macam langit dengan bumi ok?!

4. Ida Nerina looked gorgeous in a creepy way. She talked in a low voice and sings in an even lower voice that i’m surprised she doesn’t sound like a man! As for her acting it’s first class all the way baby! Just. that. stupid. man. voice! bbrr..! Come to think of it, all the woman in this movie speaks with a low raspy voice. Was it supposed to be sexy? Get real! It’s creepy and annoying ok?!

4. Adlin Aman Ramlie was also gorgeous in that lip gloss kinda way. i have a soft spot for Adlin. I think he is a really talented artist that is often misunderstood because of his crass behaviour. Whenever i watched him in action i think he’s wonderful. Too bad there’s not that many challenging character for him to play. In this movie however, his voice as Dukun Dewangga who is also super creepy and pervert~ish is a joke. I think it was altered digitally making it sounded at times like a constipated chipmunk. WHY! ? Why do that to my favourite actor?! Other than that, Adlin rocks!

5. Other cast includes Hairie Othman who plays a wife abuser. OK, i think with recent reports where Hairie was reported as a deadbeat husband who was caught cheating on his wife (which played a part in his divorce) and how he was stopped from seeing his kids, it was brave of him to accept this part. He played it brilliantly because i felt like kicking his nuts in!

This movie boasts a lot of popular faces and talented actors. There’s a lot of backflashing which was done nicely, pay attention or you won’t get it. I knew what was happening halfway of watching and loose interest. If only the script was better, it could be sensational. See it so you can watched Ramona Rahman ooh and aahh (badly) during the forgettable performance of Suzana. Otherwise save your money and stay home instead..

Last week, we went to the movies to watch The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. This movie sucks! I was duped! I watched the trailer and saw all the big Hong KONG Stars like Jet Li, Anthony Wong and Michele Yeoh and thought that it would be filled with action kick ass moves but i was so dissapointed. The film start with a narration about the evil emperor and his quest for immortality. This is where you get to see Russell Wong as General Ming, The emperor’s (Jet Li) right hand man. What the hell happen to Russell Wong? He looked ragged, i almost didn’t recognize him. I remembered watching the Joy Luck Club and the Vanishing Son and having a crush on him because he was so sexy but in the dragon tomb he looked tired. Is it because he’s older now? Wow.. age sure is not forgiving on this man. HELLO… Mr. Russel… ever heard of anti-aging serum? Ironic isn’t it that he’s in a movie that is obsess with the elixir of life? I hope he doesn’t go under the knife though, i’d hate to see my secret crush turned into another Mickey Rouke (?).. you know,  the guy who was in 9 1/2 weeks with that lady that used to be married to Alec Baldwin..what’s her name?   Having said that, i’d still rub globs of cream on Russell’s face. Pepaws can be sexy too… hahaha….

Anyway, then the movie starts to merepek to the lives of Rick and  Evelyn who foolishly promises each other that they would retire after the war, thus having a very mundane life. I never realise that Brendan Frasier is actually NOT handsome and he looked… old, in fact, why the hell does everyone in this movie looks so old and tired? and why did they have to cast Maria Bello as Evelyn? If you remember, she was in the TV series of Mr & Mrs Smith and Coyote Ugly, as the bar mistress (stupid movie, stupid lines, clearance sale acting….) Well in this film she’s supposed to be a Brit but speaks in a horrible british accent. Who were the producers trying to kid? (Aku yang bukan omputeh ni pun nak torek telinga dengar, apa lagi omputeh betul..) I have malay friends who’s more British than this actress who is paid big moolah and i believe who must have had a voice coach. Come on lah… I pay big money to watch second rate acting? Err.. sorry, ter’emo’ plak.. Anyway the movie escalates downwards from hereon. Luke Ford who played Alex, Rick and Evelyn’s son, is so seriously miscast. He doesn’t have that chemistry with Brendan and Maria, it was hard to believe Alex was their son. In fact every actor in this movie acted badly, save for the Hong Kong stars, they were good. I was so bored, i was tempted to talk hubby to just walk out of the show. Punyalah membosankan. The only star of this movie i can honestly say are the YETIs or the abominable snowman. Seriously, they stole the show from the old and tired humans. It’s a pity their screen presence was short-lived. I like them!

So, there you have it, my review of this movie called; THE MUMMY, TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR. Better save your money to watch SUSUK.. premiering on the 7th August. I watched the making of.. and it sure looked scary. And the cast is promising too, Sofia Jane and Ida Nerina, sure syiok one!

So… this blog was attacked by spam and deemed by google as a parasite site…(ggrrrr..) I thought i had lost this bloody blog but my very nice and smart brother sort it all out and here we are today… Thing is, people who uses firefox still can’t read my blog (like i have a following groupie… *roll eyes here*) so that would be a bummer. But hey, this blog is alive!! and… blog, i promise to try and update every week..