It’s monday, i haven’t had my period and i am in the mood to bitch. Not in the mood to read about me bitching? Go here.
I hate my housemate. When i moved in, she has been living alone in this house for 6 months. Now i know why… My housemate is a packrat. She doesn’t throw anything away. She collects thrash, the way some people collects stamps. When i moved in, i kind of forced her to do some spring cleaning and threw away a lot, A LOT of thrash. She’d keep empty plastic sauce bottles! When i asked her why, she said you’d never knew when you’d need them… 
Hello! Those plastic thingys are not reusable items that will keep indefinetely, they are not designed for that, plus they make the kitchen look messy! She would buy carbonated drinks (the 2 litres kind ~ big bottle) and when she finished guzzling that down, you guess – she keep the bottle! beats me, whatever for. Although come to think of it, she is also a pot head (kaki ganja). Maybe she uses these bottles as her bong (dapur lah tu…) no wonder she’s not quite right in the head…. Pot head (so much easier to type than my housemate..) also admits that she doesn’t have many friends. Well, i am here to tell you why, it’s because she has a potty mouth! She doesn’t swear that much, (that’s my department) but she’s the kind that is sarcastic and not in the charming and witty way. In fact if one day her face kena simbah cuka getah, i wouldn’t be surprised. She likes to gives advice like she knows what she’s doing, contoh 1. telling my bf to have an ASB savings, so he’d have a nest egg when he’s old and gray but she herself borrows money from me to go to work and her bf? ha ha… big joke!
contoh 2. Marah-marah like cipan betina when bf accidently left the tap on (like tak sampai 5 minit pun) sedangkan yang bayar utilities bill tu bf aku bukan bf dia! BF dia tu datang rumah buat macam hotel, main PS2 tak berhenti, bill api melambung, menghabiskan drinking water tak reti nak masak balik, tak reti nak fill-up the bottle and put back in the fridge, buang sampah sampai melimpah ruah kat dapur tu tapi tak reti nak pergi buang kat bawah, tak reti pulak dia nak melenting…. Vavi punyer perempuan!
Contoh 3. She lied to me, she didn’t pay the rent for more than 3 months sampai landlord datang mengaruk-ngaruk, and then has the cheek nak sound aku pasal bukak pintu when the landlord came and then preaching kat aku pasal bf aku.. tolong lah… yang kau tu buat party ganja, bagi kunci rumah kat cina mana ntah, yang suka hati nenek keturunan dia datang masuk rumah, masa aku tengah masak sambil pakai kain batik ( terkejut siyal!) boleh pulak? Yang kau dengan bf keparat kau tu penuh kan fridge dengan kau punyer beer, dah mabuk(pot head dah terkangkang kat bilik, bf dia keluar menjelir cari aku, voleh??) panggil aku berbual macam bapak aku ada hutang kat bapak dia boleh pulak?
Contoh 4. Berbual membangga kan diri… EH.. tolong lah… Aku belum buta laahh…You are nothing, stop telling me about kekayaan bapak kau. Yang kaya(kalau kaya lah..) bapak kau, kau tu kayap! Bangga pasal adik beradik dia, eleh kau tak kenal adik beradik aku lagik… Bangga pasal bf dia.. i quote ” Aku tak pernah jumpa lelaki macam abang. Abang very understanding, abang best, fonek abang best, bla, bla, bla……” Tolong lah… aku nak muntah! Kalau macam bf dia tu dia cakap the best she’s ever been with, aku rasa keeeeesssssiiiaaannnnn kat dia. You know why? They’ve been together for more than 6 years and they are still not married. He once told me that he doesn’t want to get married (he’s a divorcee) because he has it all. When i told him, pity pot head, he said he never stop pot head to marry some else if she wants too. Pot head started drinking, dia yang ajar sebab tak de orang nak layan dia mabuk. Vavi tak jantan ni..? Itu pun betina tu tak sedar lagik… Lepas tu ada hati nak mengata bf aku… Mampuss lah pot head!
Contoh 5. Rasa diri dia pembersih bebenor… please lah… you clean when i clean! What’s the purpose? Why not, bila aku dah kemas minggu ni, next week pulak kau kemas, bukan nye menyibuk nak kemas benda yang aku dah kemas… Dapur tu.. dah dekat sebulan tak ber mop… nak tunggu aku mop lah tu.. alasan dia, dia jarang masuk dapur.. abis tu fooki dia jarang kena service tak payah basuh kee..? Dia punya busuk hati tak nak masuk dapur konon nya… dia ambik cerek letrik dia yang buruk tu masuk bilik dia.. biskut, magie, kejadah semua dia simpan dalam bilik dia, like i want to eat hers… Aku punya biskut, kek, buah, maggie pun tak terabis nak makan lah..! Bf kau pun sempat melantak maggie aku, tak kisah pun.. Pinggan mangkuk, mug-mug dia yang besor kejadah, pun malas nak basuh.. hari tu aku tegur, ok lah sikit, sekarang ni dah berbasuh tapi mug kau apasal banyak sangat? Sampai lebih dari 15 bijik! Besor gedabak pulak tu… nyibuk je, aku nak letak mug aku yang 3 biji tu pun susah.. Banyak-banyak barang tak guna, lepas tu mengumpul habuk… haa tu lah keja pot head.. Batu lesung lepas pakai tak basuh sampai berkerak-kerak, pastu pakai balik tak basuh pun… eeeiii kembang tekak den.. Lepas tu konon geli nak makan aku masak sebab pisau lepas potong sotong, aku tak basuh pakai sabun just run through the water je, terus kupas bawang and other things… Hello… remember the batu lesung??
Sebenarnya yang buat aku mengaruk macam sawan vavi ni, semalam pot head yang siyal ituh sound aku pasal washing machine (aku punya okay!), sebab aku tertido sementara tunggu cycle habih (biasalah basuh bedsheet kan..) cakap pasal bil elektrik lah apa kejadah nye… Hello… kau nak cakap kat aku pasal mesin tu tak masuk air, cakap itu je dah lah, tak payah nak sindir-sindir aku. Ingat kau bagi aku makan ke? Washing machine pun pinjam aku punye, bill api air pun baru 2 bulan kau bayar itu pun lebih rendah dari time AKU yang bayar tau.. Yang kau tu… hari tu aku balik, rumah dah bau hangit semacam, rupanya kau lupa nak tutup dapur gas sampai kuali kau merentung macam muka jantan kau, ada tak aku sindir-sindir kau? Aku cakap bebaik je dengan kau, walaupun tuhan je yang tau betapa aku benci nak bercakap dengan kau..
Pot head, tolong lah… get some social skills.. sebelum aku sumpah foooki kau keluar lendir hijau…
Pheeww! lega sikit… ok back to work… 
